I left Facebook for Lent and by and large, stayed away. I snuck on a couple of times to wish and later, congratulate the ever wonderful Danny White but didn't look at one status, not even my own while doing so. I had hoped that by not being on Facebook, a place that often becomes a hate infested cesspool of ignorance and intolerance, I would find a little more peace in my day. I would refrain from posting my own ignorance and intolerance and would refrain from judging others on theirs. I would stop playing over and over someone's comment in my mind, trying to decide if it was passive aggressive, innocent or if they were just a complete moron. I had hoped that I would spare my feelings when I realized that someone had unfriended me. I had hoped that I would not become so disillusioned with the world.
I did find more peace in my day. I found that my fingers and wrist did not ache as much from using my phone. I read two books and four months worth of National Geographic. I was not bombarded with negative even though I continued to read the news, I only read the news, no comments. Danny shared all the important items like vacation photos, house buying, test passing, diploma receiving and job acquiring. I still received text messages and Snapchats so I always knew what Emmitt was up to.
And this morning, before I jumped back on, I debated. What would I lose and what would I gain by deleting this account. What I would lose was the daily contact with people I love dearly that live too far away for a phone call. I would lose all the photos of faces that I love. I would lose seeing the milestones, the babies, the puppies, the heartbreaks, the healing. I don't want to lose those connections.
Moving forward I have to be my filter. I have to pick what is necessary. For me that means no more biased news, a lot more yoga with baby goats. No more bashing (even Tom Brady). No more all encompassing derogatory statuses, comments or shares. I am not going to change opinions with my opinion, I just alienate people or will be alienated by them.
I can't be responsible for the way you feel and you are not responsible for the way I feel. Posting passive aggressive memes directed at people that probably don't even follow me (but haven't unfriended me yet) is really not the way for me to unpack my emotional baggage. It's time I grow up. From here on out it's a lot of Snoopy, Pistols photos and long, rambling posts about the hi jinks of Hattie. If that doesn't interest you, and honestly, I can see why it wouldn't, save us the hassle and press the button. No feelings hurt, I probably wouldn't even know.
I am learning how to have more peace in my life. And it starts with me. That reminds me of a song.
