It was 18 years ago today that we moved out of my little old house in Cedar Rapids and moved into a crappy but big apartment in West Des Moines. Just three years later, we would make the decision to stay in West Des Moines and bought a home. Frequently, we talk about how different life would be if we would have followed one of the other potential paths. We would all be very different people. There would have been no Harlow, no Emmitt, no Hattie and possibly, no deployment. More than likely, there would have been no Brett (or Marie or Arthur). Cancer treatment could have looked very different. There probably would have still have been a truck, only sooner and maybe, bigger.
When we moved here, it was for a job with the Iowa State Patrol at the capital. Cedar Rapids Police had already said no thank you and we weren't holding out for Linn County. The terrible thing about being in the hiring process for law enforcement agencies is that they take months. I get it, they want to make sure they have the best people, but for the people in the process, it sucks! After CRPD said no thank you, and ISP said thank you, it seemed silly and risky to stick around to see what Linn County Sheriff's department was going to say. So sold the house and headed west.
After three years of Danny doing overnights at the governor's mansion and capital, he applied to Des Moines Police Department, put in for a transfer with the state patrol and applied to Nevada State Patrol. We had decided to say yes to the first offer he (we) got. DMPD it was. That allowed us to buy a home and stay in the area that had begun to feel like home. It meant the kids didn't switch schools again. I kept my job. Absolutely the easiest of decisions.
Had the state patrol offered a transfer, we could have gone anywhere in the state except the bigger cities. We could have lived on some land, had goats and chickens. The kids would have gone to a small school not Valley. There would not have been a Harlow, but there would have been other dogs, probably several. I could have had an old farm house and maybe a coup. I would have completely gone all in with that lifestyle. I would have ended up with entirely different kids because of the experiences they would have had. Every time we visit friends that have their own little slice of green far away from the city, I think of what could have been and then I hear about their commute, or think about the gravel road they are on, or how terribly far from the hospital they are and I am grateful to be where we are.
The other option, moving to Nevada, was terribly exciting. We would have been in the Las Vegas area and would have eventually made our way north to Reno to be near Danny's sisters and their families. Our lives, and to some extend, their lives would have been so different. Our kids could have taken dance and learned to ski. We could have been in the city or outside of town. But it would have been a lot of long roads for Danny to patrol and I don't think any of us would have liked that. I would have become proficient at winter mountain driving. When cancer came, there would have been a pretty good chance we would have gone to Sacramento for transplant. I would have picked up a gambling habit. I would have seen Barry Manilow, a lot.
I don't know if this is where we were meant to be. It is impossible to know. And I don't put any stock in god's plan. It is just how it happened. One city didn't see the potential and a state and another city did. We followed the money so to speak.
There was comfort in living in Cedar Rapids. I knew my way around. I knew the schools my kids would attend. The house we were in was cheap and had great woodwork and I cried the day I left it. I cried for all the things I was leaving, not just the woodwork and high ceilings, but the Sunday dinners at my parents, the growing up with cousins, grandparents at soccer games and band concerts. I had a church that knew me. I even had a couple of high school friends still in town. And Danny would have been such a good police officer for that city. I still take it personally that he didn't make the cut. Crapids.
And here's where we are and, barring a very large lottery win, here's where we will stay. West Des Moines has certainly become home. It is where my kids are from, it's where I want to be. We have roots, we have a community. We still root for the Tigers even though we have no children there. We have our Hy Vee and our Target and yes, our Walgreens. And let's be clear, I live in West Des Moines and don't know my way around Des Moines at all though I am good to go in Clive, Urbandale and most of Johnston! And I cannot imagine a life without these friends we have here, these work, church and school friends that feel like family.
We went where we needed to go to do what was best for our family. (My sister in law and her family have just done a similar thing.) Not everyone was happy we moved west and others weren't happy we didn't move further west. It's just how it goes. And now that I am watching my own kids make those same type of life choices I just try to make it clear that if they must go, then they must and we shall visit and if they must stay, then they must and we will not stop by unannounced.
So people, go where you must, enjoy it, embrace it and be happy in knowing that you did what was best and right for you! We might come visit!
