Been in a similar pair

If you have ever worked in the drug or big box store at this time of year, then you know that these last few days before Christmas are stocking stuffer days.   The stocking stuffer shopper is generally easy to pick out, a lot of candy and stuff under five bucks.  In my department, it is common to have pony tail holders, new combs and brushes, fuzzy socks along with nail polish and lip gloss.  So when I saw the woman with a perplexed look on her face and fuzzy socks in her basket, I figured she was in need of some direction to more stuff to stuff.

She was looking for hair detangler and a wide comb.  As I always do, I asked her if she had a brand preference, she said no that she just needed something she could spray on her daughter’s hair to get the tangles out.  Then she added “she’s in the ICU.”  Her adult daughter is in a coma.  The prognosis is not great.  While all the rest of the store was busy finding the perfect trinket for their stockings, this mom was trying to find what she could to help her daughter maintain her dignity and beauty in a hospital bed. 

Though I have never worn this mom’s shoes, I have had my feet in a similar pair.  And it does not matter if it is a little baby, a teen or an adult child, mothers and fathers just want to make it all ok.  They do not want to give up the right to take care of their baby.  Here was this mom, away from the hospital, maybe by force, but she could not step away from her daughter’s care.  And there I was, knowing nothing more than this woman’s story and her daughter’s name.   Julie. 

There is really very little that I can say to this mom.  I know this from experience.  When Ashlyn was sick, there wasn’t   much you could say to me.  I just wanted to talk.  I really wanted someone that wasn’t so intimately connected to me and to her to just hear what I had to say.  So this is what I was for Julie’s mom today.  I was just listening, and crying with her and offering hugs and Kleenex and prayers.    And this isn’t the first time that I have been fortunate enough to be in that place for someone.   Paying forward the kindness and empathy that was shown to me three years ago. 

For the rest of the afternoon, I gave thought to every customer that I encountered.  Everyone has something.  No one would have guessed what was going on in our lives three years ago when Ashlyn was going through treatment, or seven years ago when Danny was in Iraq.   Just like I would have never known the pain that this woman was enduring today. 

So tonight, in keeping with the promise that I made to Julie’s mom, I ask you to say a prayer, send positive energy, and think good thoughts for this family.  She is a reminder to me of how fortunate I am.  Life is sweet and fleeting.  Be caring, be kind, be gentle to those around you that are wearing horrible shoes.