A friend of mine recently said that the Devil only goes after what is strong. I have to disagree. I think the devil is a bit of a wuss and waits for people to be at their weakest before he slithers in and makes his move.
Now I don't know what kind of mood Adam and Eve were in when he presented the apple, but the devil did wait until Jesus was alone in the desert and that was still an epic fail. Even with humans, he doesn't always get the timing right.
Case in point, Johnny. The fiddle playing master of Charlie Daniel's song. My friend could definitely use this song as an argument to her statement. The devil knew what he was going into when he made the bet. He had already seen Johnny play and knew that he was good. Johnny didn't know what kind of skills that the devil had and was taking a risk making the bet. OR Johnny was so confident in his skills that he knew there was no way he was going to lose.
Times were obviously tough for the devil when he went to Georgia. The song states he was way behind in soul stealing. Now if the devil had any business smarts, he would have known that a young man playing a fiddle hot was not the ideal one to make a deal with. But no one ever said the devil was smart.
So Johnny thinks that he may be sinning by taking this bet, but I wonder? If he knew he couldn't lose because he knew his God given talents were better than the devil's devil given talents, is it a sin? Was he cocky or confident? Was he just putting the devil in his place like we all should do or was he showing off? These are real questions that need real answers.
Maybe Johnny is a little cocky. Maybe as he ages, that will settle down in him and he will be a little more humble. But then again, he just kicked the devil's ass in a fiddle playing contest, he has every right to be cocky. I would.
For a long time, I felt that the devil had a better song, but it was the band of demons that really rounded out his sound. I had a long (drunken) conversation about this song one night and was shown the error of my thinking. If the band of demons did not join in, I would have been able to hear that Johnny was clearly a superior fiddle player, just as the devil stated.
What if more of us were like the live concert version of Johnny. You know the one that says "I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best there's ever been." I don't think we even have to claim to be the best, but we do need to claim that enough evil is enough. What if we just got fed up with him and his band and schooled him on a little kindness and forgiveness and tolerance?
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Writer's Block Socked Out of Me
I didn't really have anything to write about tonight. I was thinking about discussing my faith issues or religion issues but that seemed like a downer on this Ash Wednesday. I started and deleted several other opening paragraphs and was about to call it off when I got socked with an idea. I will write about Jacob, again.
Jacob just socked me in the tummy. It's something he does. Comes out of the blue, I'm just standing there (first mistake). Jacob then says "mom" and I respond (second mistake) with an answer of some sort. Then I get socked in the tummy. If it isn't a tummy sock then it is the heads or tails shin kick. The title is pretty self explanatory. Jacob has a coin (that he probably found on the counter, making it mine) that he flips, keeps covered and then asks "heads or tails?" He looks at it and either gives a face of complete disappointment or grins and shin kicks me.
I shouldn't complain. He has curtailed many of his other antics as of late. There is no more opossum while I am trying to go to bed. I have not been caught in an avalanche of love in ages. Emmitt is the only one that is currently and frequently chased and tortured. And by tortured I mean mugged and tummy rubbed to the point of retaliation. An Emmitt attack is a lot of fun. He has no claws but is as strong as Hercules. He also has a wicked grip and will bite the hand that feeds him or tortures him.
Even with the opossums and avalanches and other natural disaster type displays of affection, I should not complain. Jacob is such a treat.
Now that I am working so much closer to home and Krispy Kreme, Jacob and friends stop by to see me and to buy juice. The perception is that Jacob buys this juice to mix with liquor and that I am an ostrich burying my head in the avalanche of love. And the more I doubt them, the more they give me that look like I am an idiot. And all I can think is that not every kid is out drinking and lying to his parents. Not every kid was like me. If Jacob is out drinking, then he is hiding it incredibly well because he always gives us a kiss goodnight when he comes home. And his breath is not minty fresh.
Why do people so often assume the worst? Why does a kid declaring his appreciation for his parents mean that he wants something? Cannot a seventeen year old boy stop into his mother's place of business, hug her tightly in aisle one and proclaim "this is my mom and I love her and I don't care who know it!"?
I feel so fortunate to have a tummy socking kid that stops in to see me at work. I know that my time is limited with him. I know that my Jacob will soon become the world's Jacob in the same way that My Ashlyn and My Hayley now belong to the world. I know that my days of having him dinking around the house are limited. I know that I will become a place that he stops by to see on his way to fame and fortune. I know that sooner than later Harlow will miss her wrestling partner, Emmitt will miss his tormentor and I will miss my tummy punches and shin kicks.
Jacob just socked me in the tummy. It's something he does. Comes out of the blue, I'm just standing there (first mistake). Jacob then says "mom" and I respond (second mistake) with an answer of some sort. Then I get socked in the tummy. If it isn't a tummy sock then it is the heads or tails shin kick. The title is pretty self explanatory. Jacob has a coin (that he probably found on the counter, making it mine) that he flips, keeps covered and then asks "heads or tails?" He looks at it and either gives a face of complete disappointment or grins and shin kicks me.
I shouldn't complain. He has curtailed many of his other antics as of late. There is no more opossum while I am trying to go to bed. I have not been caught in an avalanche of love in ages. Emmitt is the only one that is currently and frequently chased and tortured. And by tortured I mean mugged and tummy rubbed to the point of retaliation. An Emmitt attack is a lot of fun. He has no claws but is as strong as Hercules. He also has a wicked grip and will bite the hand that feeds him or tortures him.
Even with the opossums and avalanches and other natural disaster type displays of affection, I should not complain. Jacob is such a treat.
Now that I am working so much closer to home and Krispy Kreme, Jacob and friends stop by to see me and to buy juice. The perception is that Jacob buys this juice to mix with liquor and that I am an ostrich burying my head in the avalanche of love. And the more I doubt them, the more they give me that look like I am an idiot. And all I can think is that not every kid is out drinking and lying to his parents. Not every kid was like me. If Jacob is out drinking, then he is hiding it incredibly well because he always gives us a kiss goodnight when he comes home. And his breath is not minty fresh.
Why do people so often assume the worst? Why does a kid declaring his appreciation for his parents mean that he wants something? Cannot a seventeen year old boy stop into his mother's place of business, hug her tightly in aisle one and proclaim "this is my mom and I love her and I don't care who know it!"?
I feel so fortunate to have a tummy socking kid that stops in to see me at work. I know that my time is limited with him. I know that my Jacob will soon become the world's Jacob in the same way that My Ashlyn and My Hayley now belong to the world. I know that my days of having him dinking around the house are limited. I know that I will become a place that he stops by to see on his way to fame and fortune. I know that sooner than later Harlow will miss her wrestling partner, Emmitt will miss his tormentor and I will miss my tummy punches and shin kicks.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
A Love Letter
Dear Danny,
Happy 23rd Anniversary to you, to us! We did it, another year of wedded bliss! And thank you for loving me all these years. I am truly blessed and you are my hero and rock.
You have always believed in us. I remember when I was pregnant with Ashlyn and you were so many miles away and still, you assured me that we could be parents. We could take care of this baby. We would be ok. And you were right. We didn't break her or the two others that followed. In fact, there were times that we were down right brilliant parents (And down right sucky parents).
You have always known that I was capable. Always. You didn't put up with my bullshit or my whining or my complaining. You just kind of expected me to adapt and overcome. To forge through whatever it was. Not to say that you were not helpful and sympathetic, because you were. You just didn't have any time for my periods of self loathing. I think it was because you saw something in me worth loving and you wanted me to see that same thing. Aside from the kids, that might just be the greatest thing you ever gave me, my esteem. On the other hand, your insistence that I was better than I thought has turned me into a bit of a know it all monster. So there is that!
You are an amazing father. There really is nothing I can say to improve on that statement. It has been an honor to raise Ashlyn, Hayley and Jacob with you.
Hero, let's talk about that. You are mine. In the traditional sense of the word, you do fulfill many hero requirements. You wear a uniform (no cape), you defeat the bad guy, you rescue people. But you also do the nontraditional hero things like take me to the church in Mondsee so I can fulfill my dream of walking down the aisle to marry Captain Von Trapp. Or let me get another big slobbery dog even though I had a big slobbery dog. Or take care of me multiple times when I drank too much the night before.
You get my jokes. You get my moods. You get my family. You have taken me around the world. You have given me the moon and the stars. Or at least you have given me a hammock and deck where I can look at the moon and stars. You have provided us all with a home and safety and security. There are no other arms that I search for in times of trouble or joy. There is no other heart that I trust like I trust yours. There is no one that could be mine like you are mine.
I know that what I say is what a lot of people say to their mate. And it is true for them as it is true for me. But still, I am the luckiest, most fortunate and blessed of all the girls I know!
Happy anniversary Danny.
Forever yours,
Anne
Happy 23rd Anniversary to you, to us! We did it, another year of wedded bliss! And thank you for loving me all these years. I am truly blessed and you are my hero and rock.
You have always believed in us. I remember when I was pregnant with Ashlyn and you were so many miles away and still, you assured me that we could be parents. We could take care of this baby. We would be ok. And you were right. We didn't break her or the two others that followed. In fact, there were times that we were down right brilliant parents (And down right sucky parents).
You have always known that I was capable. Always. You didn't put up with my bullshit or my whining or my complaining. You just kind of expected me to adapt and overcome. To forge through whatever it was. Not to say that you were not helpful and sympathetic, because you were. You just didn't have any time for my periods of self loathing. I think it was because you saw something in me worth loving and you wanted me to see that same thing. Aside from the kids, that might just be the greatest thing you ever gave me, my esteem. On the other hand, your insistence that I was better than I thought has turned me into a bit of a know it all monster. So there is that!
You are an amazing father. There really is nothing I can say to improve on that statement. It has been an honor to raise Ashlyn, Hayley and Jacob with you.
Hero, let's talk about that. You are mine. In the traditional sense of the word, you do fulfill many hero requirements. You wear a uniform (no cape), you defeat the bad guy, you rescue people. But you also do the nontraditional hero things like take me to the church in Mondsee so I can fulfill my dream of walking down the aisle to marry Captain Von Trapp. Or let me get another big slobbery dog even though I had a big slobbery dog. Or take care of me multiple times when I drank too much the night before.
You get my jokes. You get my moods. You get my family. You have taken me around the world. You have given me the moon and the stars. Or at least you have given me a hammock and deck where I can look at the moon and stars. You have provided us all with a home and safety and security. There are no other arms that I search for in times of trouble or joy. There is no other heart that I trust like I trust yours. There is no one that could be mine like you are mine.
I know that what I say is what a lot of people say to their mate. And it is true for them as it is true for me. But still, I am the luckiest, most fortunate and blessed of all the girls I know!
Happy anniversary Danny.
Forever yours,
Anne
Thursday, February 7, 2013
F#@%
That's kind of where I am at right now. I'm not mad or depressed or anything like that. I am just, well, fuck. And sometimes it is a yell and sometimes, under the breath and sometimes, just a statement. I love the word. I love the way to hurts a little to say it, if I say it right. Little pressure on the lip and then that hard K sound at the end.
(I'd better be careful before this turns into a Forum letter)
Anyway, you know what I am talking about. There really isn't anything happening. Football is over and basketball sucks. All UFC seems to be pay per view. And I live in West Des Moines, there are no knife fights on the streets.
TV is a big parade of award shows. Men in fancy suits and women poured into designer dresses. Thanking God and the producer for the Oscar or Tony or some other guy. Pretty sure God is not keeping track of the Oscars.
And then there is the weather - spring sneaking in and then Fuck, it's snowing.
Here at home there are many moments where the word is so appropriate. Not in anger unless it is at the cat that puked on the basement stair. No, usually it is in good humor. An adjective for all that is good and pure in my day.
And sometimes it is the only word that fills the void left by anger or despair or pain.
There is just something about the word. I know that swearing tends to dumb a person down, but seriously, who am I trying to impress. Those that love me know I am a potty mouth. That's why they love me. Married a Marine but a speak like a sailor.
Now someone with a greater education or appreciation for the English language would tell me to find the words. What ever should I yell when I catch my toe on the corner of the bed? What would Danny yell in the middle of a brawl. What would Jacob yell when the illegals stole the van?
OUCH! BEHAVE! THEIVES! Nope, FUCK!
(I'd better be careful before this turns into a Forum letter)
Anyway, you know what I am talking about. There really isn't anything happening. Football is over and basketball sucks. All UFC seems to be pay per view. And I live in West Des Moines, there are no knife fights on the streets.
TV is a big parade of award shows. Men in fancy suits and women poured into designer dresses. Thanking God and the producer for the Oscar or Tony or some other guy. Pretty sure God is not keeping track of the Oscars.
And then there is the weather - spring sneaking in and then Fuck, it's snowing.
Here at home there are many moments where the word is so appropriate. Not in anger unless it is at the cat that puked on the basement stair. No, usually it is in good humor. An adjective for all that is good and pure in my day.
And sometimes it is the only word that fills the void left by anger or despair or pain.
There is just something about the word. I know that swearing tends to dumb a person down, but seriously, who am I trying to impress. Those that love me know I am a potty mouth. That's why they love me. Married a Marine but a speak like a sailor.
Now someone with a greater education or appreciation for the English language would tell me to find the words. What ever should I yell when I catch my toe on the corner of the bed? What would Danny yell in the middle of a brawl. What would Jacob yell when the illegals stole the van?
OUCH! BEHAVE! THEIVES! Nope, FUCK!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
NKOTB
New Kid on the Block. Well, not the block but the corner of Westown and 22nd. Not the corner as in hooker corner, but corner as in Walgreen's new marketing campaign. You've heard it, with the guy from My Big Fat Greek Wedding saying something clever about Walgreens at the corner of something or other.
Anyway, I started working at a new location today. I will be doing the same job with the same zest that I had at the former location. Maybe even more zest, which by the way, is sold in eight pack bars in the back aisle, straight down aisle one. The old location and I had to part ways eventually. I wasn't going to work five miles from home when the opportunity to work point eight miles from home came open. I didn't expect to leave so soon, but when opportunity knocks I like to fling open the door and say (like the Mormons) HELLO!
I have known several of the employees for many years. I am hoping that they spread the word that I was very nice. I do know that the word was spread that I like things done a certain way. The right way. My way. In this way, I am not open to suggestion. At the old store, an employee wanted to do things like they were done at her old store. I don't do that. Frank Sinatra was on to something and I tend to agree with his chart topping philosophy.
The manager and I go way back. When he was first hired, I trained him on the in's and out's of my former job. He knows my strengths and I hope, my weaknesses. He also knows that I don't tend to have a lot of tolerance for idiots and assholes. I need a manager that will back the direction I want the department to move in. I hope he understands the pain in the ass he has taken on by taking me in!
Anyway, I started working at a new location today. I will be doing the same job with the same zest that I had at the former location. Maybe even more zest, which by the way, is sold in eight pack bars in the back aisle, straight down aisle one. The old location and I had to part ways eventually. I wasn't going to work five miles from home when the opportunity to work point eight miles from home came open. I didn't expect to leave so soon, but when opportunity knocks I like to fling open the door and say (like the Mormons) HELLO!
I have known several of the employees for many years. I am hoping that they spread the word that I was very nice. I do know that the word was spread that I like things done a certain way. The right way. My way. In this way, I am not open to suggestion. At the old store, an employee wanted to do things like they were done at her old store. I don't do that. Frank Sinatra was on to something and I tend to agree with his chart topping philosophy.
The manager and I go way back. When he was first hired, I trained him on the in's and out's of my former job. He knows my strengths and I hope, my weaknesses. He also knows that I don't tend to have a lot of tolerance for idiots and assholes. I need a manager that will back the direction I want the department to move in. I hope he understands the pain in the ass he has taken on by taking me in!
Monday, February 4, 2013
Like the Kitten on the Poster
I just got off the phone with my Hayley. She is suffering from insufferable classes and is just not digging school. Sometimes it's hard to see the big picture when the view is crowded with classes that don't seem to have any real significance on the future. Seriously, if Hayley is going to plan weddings, in what way is knowing Russian history going to help her out? Unless someone wants a Czar themed wedding (and who wouldn't?) .
But, like a good mom, I reminded her that she needed to stay on our auto and health insurance. That helped sway her back to college. But more than anything, she just needed to have a sounding board. She needed to express her frustrations. She needed to know that what she was feeling was not crazy and all that. She also needed to hear that it was worth it, so worth it to get that degree. Don't end up like me, I say. Smarter than the job I am doing, but not educated enough to prove it. (Don't give me the "you can go back to school" lecture either. That is another story).
Just hang in there Hayley. There are going to be tough days and rough days and absolutely suck days. But then you get the good days when you look at what you have accomplished and it will be worth it. So very worth it. I promise you.
Sometimes I forget that my Hayley is no longer My Hayley. She is grown now with her own future. She no longer seeks our permission but values our advice and opinions. How lucky am I that Hayley values what I have to say.
And here is what I have to say. Hang in there. Your path is probably not straight. You will do dumb stuff because you have to. You will put Russian history in your brain and someday at some B-Dubs while watching some game, you will glance up at the trivia game and you will know the that correct answer is Rasputin or Stalin or St. Petersberg. Not "D" a jar of almonds. And you will be thankful for the hell that was this class.
So hang in there. Don't try to force your future. It will come soon enough.
But, like a good mom, I reminded her that she needed to stay on our auto and health insurance. That helped sway her back to college. But more than anything, she just needed to have a sounding board. She needed to express her frustrations. She needed to know that what she was feeling was not crazy and all that. She also needed to hear that it was worth it, so worth it to get that degree. Don't end up like me, I say. Smarter than the job I am doing, but not educated enough to prove it. (Don't give me the "you can go back to school" lecture either. That is another story).
Just hang in there Hayley. There are going to be tough days and rough days and absolutely suck days. But then you get the good days when you look at what you have accomplished and it will be worth it. So very worth it. I promise you.
Sometimes I forget that my Hayley is no longer My Hayley. She is grown now with her own future. She no longer seeks our permission but values our advice and opinions. How lucky am I that Hayley values what I have to say.
And here is what I have to say. Hang in there. Your path is probably not straight. You will do dumb stuff because you have to. You will put Russian history in your brain and someday at some B-Dubs while watching some game, you will glance up at the trivia game and you will know the that correct answer is Rasputin or Stalin or St. Petersberg. Not "D" a jar of almonds. And you will be thankful for the hell that was this class.
So hang in there. Don't try to force your future. It will come soon enough.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Do Over
It is the start of a new month and I am glad. January just kinda sucked. Danny hurt his foot in the wee hours of the new year so I began 2013 pissed off and in the ER. Shortly after that, I got a cough which liked me so much that it moved in much like the green globs from the Mucinex commercial. It is now a month later and I am still coughing. There was even a week of rib pain and (in my mind) pulled muscle. All resolutions went out the back door because all I wanted to do was sleep and not cough. Unfortunately the coughing won out most evenings and the sleep was far from restful. Even NyQuil induced sleep was not Drew Brees gonna win the game type sleep. During the day, antibiotics and codeine laced cough medicine left me with a wobbly tummy and a foggy head.
Not all of January sucked. My dad adopted a new dog. Giving the dog and himself a new lease on life. We celebrated Bone Marrow Transplant Day for the fourth time. And Hayley turned twenty. So the month gave me some very wonderful days. But as a whole, I went through the month in a coughy fog with missed days of work and no days on the exercise mat.
So here comes February!!! Its a little month and I have little expectation of it. Maybe that is the deal. Maybe I should have started the new year with little expectation. Maybe I should have just let the month come like every other month and not set these high expectations. Maybe I should have taken a clue from the early morning ER trip and just let it be. But I kept thinking of the resolutions that I made and didn't keep. I watched each day blow off the calendar pad with a sinking feeling of failure. Well, F that!
And by F I mean February! New month, new start. New resolutions. Ha ha! No resolutions. Just doing my best each day to make it a good day, nay, a great day. February brings a new job location much closer to home. My commute has decreased by over two thirds. February brings smaller bills as we finally refinanced. February brings the end of my cough and the start of my return to health. Oh, and February brings the twenty fourth anniversary of Danny popping the question and twenty three years of the two of us beating the odds.
So in with the new and out with the old! Screw Happy New Year, I am going with Happy New Month.
Not all of January sucked. My dad adopted a new dog. Giving the dog and himself a new lease on life. We celebrated Bone Marrow Transplant Day for the fourth time. And Hayley turned twenty. So the month gave me some very wonderful days. But as a whole, I went through the month in a coughy fog with missed days of work and no days on the exercise mat.
So here comes February!!! Its a little month and I have little expectation of it. Maybe that is the deal. Maybe I should have started the new year with little expectation. Maybe I should have just let the month come like every other month and not set these high expectations. Maybe I should have taken a clue from the early morning ER trip and just let it be. But I kept thinking of the resolutions that I made and didn't keep. I watched each day blow off the calendar pad with a sinking feeling of failure. Well, F that!
And by F I mean February! New month, new start. New resolutions. Ha ha! No resolutions. Just doing my best each day to make it a good day, nay, a great day. February brings a new job location much closer to home. My commute has decreased by over two thirds. February brings smaller bills as we finally refinanced. February brings the end of my cough and the start of my return to health. Oh, and February brings the twenty fourth anniversary of Danny popping the question and twenty three years of the two of us beating the odds.
So in with the new and out with the old! Screw Happy New Year, I am going with Happy New Month.
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