So is God really monitoring every moment of my day? Is He seriously watching me walk up and down the stairs, keeping me from tripping? Is He steering all the other cars not in my direction? And if He is, then why are other people tripping and getting hit and all kinds of other not so great things? I struggle with this all the time. I don't think God has a hand in my day to day crap. I would like to think that He is busy with the Ukraine and Venezuela. They need the help more than I do. I have God's minions (if you will) to help me. St. Christopher helped us with a safe flight, driver's ed teachers helped with a safe commute, builders helped with the properly installed hand rails for a safe accent and decent.
I know that God is everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. I know that at any moment I can call out to Him and ask for guidance and peace. But should I be? Should I be expecting Him to make it all right or should He be expecting me to make it all right because He made me in His image so I should be able to do this on my own with the skills He gave me. Is that the wrong way to think? Am I sinning for thinking that I can do it on my own because He gave me the tools to do it on my own?
What would Jesus do?
I don't know. Jesus was part God or all God or anyway, He seemed to have it pretty together except when He lost it in the temple and started tipping tables and flinging gold coins. I like that in Jesus, though. I like that He got fed up and took care of the business! I like that WWJD does not always mean turning the other cheek but that it means doing the right thing based on your beliefs. Because it wasn't the right thing as far as the merchants were concerned but it was Jesus' right thing and I am not going to argue with that!
And am I completely contradicting myself with this blog as I have LET GO LET GOD tattooed on my calf. How does that jive with what I am saying? I think I have a respectable answer for that. I think that I have been given or blessed or endowed with gifts or skills. I think everyone has these or similar gifts or skills. God given? Sure, unless you don't believe that they are then I don't know where they came from, but you got them so use them. I digress (a lot). SO God has given me the gifts or skills to deal with the majority of life's crap. And if He didn't give me the direct skills than he gave me the ability to find the skills. It is when a situation is so big that I let go and let God. Death, deployment, cancer. Well, I didn't let go and let God on the deployment one and He sent in Barron as I didn't have the skills but the dog did.
Good Lord, I ramble. And here is another point, how can He possibly listen to me ramble all the time? I know He can because He is God and He has the capacity to hear me, but how can He listening to the constant whining and complaining that I do? How can He not just reach down from heaven and thump me on the head and say "get your act together- I gave you the skills. I made you in my image and you don't see me whining and complaining!" Wouldn't that be awesome? Pity parties would be over pretty darn quick as people pulled themselves up by their Jesus sandals and got on their way.
So anyway, back to my original thoughts, does God have a hand in everything or is some of it just the way it goes? I can't imagine that God would allow for the suffering and pain. I cannot imagine that He chooses for one child to live and the other to die. Does everything happen for a reason? Or does shit just happen? Do these questions make me less of a Christian?
I don't know, I don't know if anyone does. I would be interested in knowing what others think. I know there are some out there that will delete me from their friends list because they don't want to be associated with me in any way come Judgement Day and I get that. I don't think mine is a name that will open pearly gates.
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