Home Again

Two weekends ago, we had Hayley and Brett.  Last weekend we had Jacob.  We always have Ashlyn. 
Home again.  Just briefly.  So briefly that there is no time to clean up after the cat or dinner.  That waits for mom on Monday!
Home again with laundry and meal requests.  Long talks at the island.  Time going by far too fast. 
It is strange the way these children move in and out of my day now.  I wonder how my parents felt with my comings and goings.  It isn't hard to have them pop in and out.  But it is so hard.  These lives they have are not something I am privy to.  I have to ask the questions to get the answers.  And even then, the answers are often a two letter word.  OK.  Or I am the board in which a dozen ideas are bounced off of.  I love that they have enough faith and confidence in me to let me in on their hopes.
Hayley, at the end of one chapter and already wanting to write the next.  I cannot really imagine what she is feeling, desperately wanting to know what come next and wanting to know how to start making that happen.  She will graduate in May from UNI.  She may have a job lined up here in Des Moines but I get the feeling that she is in no hurry to leave the job she has in Cedar Falls.  I know that she is ready to pack up and leave the shit hole she is living in.  She is ready for an ant free, furnace working apartment with cupboards that close properly, with tenants that don't hit the building, with pot smoke not wafting through the halls.  But this apartment was a great place to start because it will only get better.  She has already taken the first step and purchased a reliable vehicle, she has money in the bank.  She has a plan. 
I just hope she remembers that plans are written on the beach of the ocean and the tide comes in with no mercy.  What is written isn't always so.  I hope she knows that she always has a place here, even with her cat.  I hope she knows that there is no shame in finding us a safe place to rest, regroup and see movies every Wednesday night.  If she should need us...
Jacob is full of adventure.  He is taking ISU's marketing campaign to heart and seems to be enjoying it.  OK is the answer I get to the question of classes.  But this isn't my bill so it isn't mine to pry.  I just hope that he takes advantage of every adventure that is offered academic and otherwise.  College has not changed him yet.  I was still hugged and tackled and hugged again.  Emmitt was still terrified all weekend.  Jacob already has a job lined up for next summer.  I think he has also realized that he will have to line up a job on campus sooner than later as life still comes with unexpected and expected bills. 
Ashlyn waits for the LSAT results.  I know we will lose her in the spring.  Maybe as we gain Hayley and Jacob.  I know that she only stopped here to rest.  I know. 
I returned twice to my parents home after I had gone and gotten married.  It may have been the greatest gift they gave me in a long line of gifts.  Danny was gone and I had the girls.  We absolutely could have made it in SoCal as we did in Germany years later.  But they were little and we were out in town.  Which meant that there was no military near by and we were on our own day in and day out.  Coming home gave peace of mind to everyone that needed it and it meant that the girls had a relationship with their grandparents that otherwise would not have been. 
I hope that my kinder know that they can always come home again.  If it is for summer break, or just a break from the realities of the world out there.  We offer an old bedroom, a fresh supply of towels, some food, sometimes even cooked, Wednesday night movies (with kettle korn), a short list of chores and all the childhood movies one could ask for.