Sometimes I hate it when God is Right

If you've read anything I've written or ever listened to me talk, you should know that this relationship I have with God does not always go my way.   With His all knowing talents, it is fair to say that He is right.  And I think He is just as well, I guess, but He isn't always fair and He certainly isn't much for letting me have my own way.  He is pretty used to me by now and knows the best way to get me to listen is to either have a dog tell me or whisper it quietly to me as a mull over what ever it is that I think needs mulling.
So, since the only dog at my disposal is Hattie and she doesn't tell me anything beyond "Treat please" and "Throw this please" God does not generally use her as a viable mode of conversation.  Now when I had Barron, those two were often one in the same for me.   But that is another story that I've already told.
I am angry, and hurt and I am really interested in holding on to a grudge.  There are words I'd like to share that will not improve any situation and probably won't make me feel better but I would like to spew them forth just the same.  Too many people have told me in this life that there is nothing to be gained from holding a grudge and as I've gotten older, I have gotten better at letting them go.  But sometimes, just sometimes when I am so full of anger and sadness and hurt that the big, heaping sobs come forward, I want to
I don't really know what I want to, other than not forgive and forget.  I don't want to forgive. 
So anyway, back to God and His mysterious ways.  He caught me today in mass during the homily.  Father was talking about giving up meat, soda, candy or watching tv for lent.  He was talking about how those giving ups can lead to taking on new things or changing your ways.  He talked about giving up soda and putting that change in a rice bowl or giving up TV and using that time to volunteer. I listened with half an ear as one, I have not given anything up for lent as of yet (its been a long week) and two, I was still mulling.  Somewhere in my half listening I heard words like forgiving, kindness, heartfelt, charity and I knew it was God ever so gently tapping my shoulder, getting that chip off of there.  He is really good at that when I open up to it.  So, I forgive.  I don't want to be the me that holds that grudge.  I forgive.  I don't want to be the me that I don't like.  I forgive because I believe in the me that is kind.  I forgive because I know the difference between being right and doing right and I want to do the right thing by my heart.

Now, what shall I do for lent?