For One Day

For one day I would like to be one of our cats.  I would like it to be on a day when Jacob is not home because he is not always pleasant to the cats.   He is not down right mean, just cantankerous.  Particularly to Emmitt who has a tendency to yell about nothing all the time.  If Jacob were home, then I would want to be Elsa for the day.  If Jacob were not home, then I would want to be Sophie for the day.  I don't think I would ever want to be Emmitt for the day because he is really high strung and doesn't relax as much as I am planning on relaxing on my one day as a kittie.
So here is how my day is gonna go when I am Sophie for the day.  I will wake in the morning whenever who I am sleeping with wakes up, but I won't get up.  In fact I will move little for the next hour or so.  I may go from my warm spot above the covers to the extra warm spot under the covers.  Elsa will probably beat me to it and even though she is afraid of me, I won't want to start something that early in the day.  After my morning nap, I will go eat something and then drink out of the dog water dish.  The basement water is not to my liking.  If it is before 9AM,  the heat register will kick on one more time and I will sit on that until it quits for much of the day.  I will will all the heat to be absorbed into my little body.  I will then do one of two things, find a sun spot or find another warm spot to sleep away the day. 
On the way to where ever I am going to rest, I will throw up.  I will try to throw up on a blanket or carpet.  I realize that I will have to go out of my way to throw up on the carpet unless I am heading upstairs.  But what's the fun of gagging for half an hour if I can't spew half eaten cat food on the comfy throw on the couch or leave orange and brown vomit on gray carpeting. 
I will probably sleep the day away in the basement.   I am not allowed in Jacob's room so I will settle in on the little couch.  Elsa will join me there and Emmitt will lay on the edge of the couch until I look at him sideways then he will go lay on the floor.  I know he outweighs me by eight pounds, but I rule this roost. 
The basement is the warmest place in the house during the day, unless Danny is sleeping and then I try my hardest to get in his room.  But he is pretty quick at throwing me (and I mean that literally) out when I start gagging. 
When I am a kitty for the day, I will plan it for a day when there are lots of people home in the evening.  That way I am guaranteed many laps to lay in.  It would be especially nice if we had company so I could get extra attention from people that didn't know I was such a needy little cat.  Oh, I can see it now, warm lap to warm lap to warm lap.  I would curl up just like a baby.  Yeah, that would be alright. 
If I chose to be Elsa for a day, I would probably find a blanket to burrow into and stay there the entire day.  I would get to be bitchy and grouchy and would not have to be polite to anyone.  I would also get to sit in a darkened doorway and blink a lot.  No one would be able to see me until the light caught my eyes just so.  Jacob would come to my defenses whenever I was laying where Sophie wanted to lay and she was   going to kick me out.  I would also get my fill of Wild West Treats from Danny because he spoils me.
That would be an alright day.  Being any one of the cats, finding a sun spot, sleeping the day away!  Yeah, I could probably handle that for one day, or until I had to pee in a sand filled box in front of God and the washing machine!