Things That'll Get Me Fired

So I don't usually talk about work on this blog because I don't really associate myself with my job.  It doesn't define me, man.  And, I don't want to say anything here that might get me in trouble there.  I do enough of that there.  But we had a visit from one of the slightly higher ups today and I noticed that my boss keeps me at arm's length during those visits.  I think he is terrified by what I will say.  But honestly, what can I say that hasn't already been said in retail America?  What kind of bitch will I bring forth that hasn't been bitched to death?  And I don't want to be that person that only has the negative.  There isn't much fun in that.
That being said- I have great fear for the future of retail.  Not so much for the store but for the shopper.  All of the work is going to be shifted on to them.  First it was coupons.  Less and less coupons were being offered in the Sunday paper.  People had to go online, put their email address into a million and one different websites, sift through pages of worthless coupon offers like a free 8x10 at Sears to find that one $1.00 off Dove deodorant.  After they find the coupon, they have to print it off at home.  Have you noticed how those coupons can use a whole sheet of paper.  Now you are saving 99cents.  If you factor in your time, you are in the hole.  Sometimes a pretty deep one, at that.  I talked to a lady today that said couponing was her hobby but that she found no joy in it.  That is sad. 
Next is the wallet full of cards one must carry to get the deals, sales, rewards, points etc.  Luckily most of them link to a phone number so I don't have to carry all these cards.  I absolutely love the idea of stores knowing what I buy and when.  I imagine some creepy, pasty guy sitting in a room full of monitors reviewing my six month purchases.  He will see that I bought work out clothes at Sports Authority and Reeses Peanut Butter cups at Walgreens.  Then he reviews my movie purchases and decides that I am some sort of weirdo that watches a lot of Disney movies while drinking Banquet Beer. 
Anyway, back to things that'll get me fired. 
I am not in support of these programs.  I am in support of helping the consumer get a decent price in a decent amount of time.  I can not be the cheerleader of up in your business store cards.  It is redonk.  When a person comes in for a pack of smokes and some slim jims, he does not want to go through hoops to save 49cents.  He just wants to buy his shit for the price on the ad tag and be on his merry way to lung cancer and heart disease.
We have been encouraged to raise money for various charities.  That is great, it really is but they are not charities that I want to support.  I don't want to pay ten bucks to wear jeans to work so our store can raise X amount of dollars for whatever the case may be.  I want to wear my very inexpensive khaki pants that I don't care about.  I do not want to ruin the super cool trouser jeans that Ashlyn gave me for Christmas.  I truly believe that my charity dollars are my charity dollars and I should not feel pressured to give in a way that does not sit right with me.  Now one of these charities directly effects a person that donated blood when Ashlyn was sick so in a blood for money type of deal, I will donate.  But you can bet that the check will be written out to the charity, not my store.  I will get the tax benefit!
But the things that will really get me fired is my constant litany of insubordinate comments.  Comments about the inconsistencies in policy and procedure.  They are all petty comments about dress code, reading magazines, eating on the sales floor etc.  But these type of inconsistencies lead to other greater inconsistencies.  People get fed up, work doesn't get done and all of a sudden a whole lot of shit hits the fan and the good employees are left to clean it up.  Literally, by the way.  One afternoon, a little old lady has a biological mishap in the aisle.  Bless her heart, she tried to clean it up, but it was cleaned up by an employee instead.  This employee handled the situation with dignity and did all she could to help this little old lady.  When the management heard about it, there was no atta girl.  In fact there was no comment made.  How much above and beyond does an employee go for a customer?  People want to feel appreciated by the people they work with and for.  They want the public to understand that they don't make the decisions and most often, are not happy about them either. 
I have been trying to get fired for twelve years, but they keep putting up with me because I do a pretty decent job for them and oddly, customers like me. 
I hope consumers get fed up with all the hoops that they must jump through at stores.  I hope a string of angry letters head to corporate headquarters.  I hope there is a trend to return to stores that value their customers even if the price is slightly higher.  I hope the stores that used to put their customers and employees first will return to that practice.  I hope I don't get fired in the meantime!