An Act of Faith

I had the opportunity to spend the weekend on a religious retreat.  During this retreat I was able to share my faith journey with the group.  Though my subject was reconciliation, that was just a small portion of my story.  My faith story is about trust and worth.
I have come to terms with my worth.  My worth is quite high.  As is yours and his and hers.  Why wouldn't be?  Why shouldn't it be?  We are incredible people full of grace and kindness, brilliant ideas and marvelous creations.  We were created in His image.  We are really quite spectacular.
It makes me sad when people don't see their worth.  That was me at 13, 27, 35.  I have the scars to prove it.  I can say that it was outside opinions that formed my ideas of my worth, but it really isn't.  Now, I use a lot of self depreciating humor but I know that I am the cat's meow, the bees knees, I am the shit, a rockstar, freakin awesome.  I can also tell you that I am not all things to all people.  I have many failings, more than I can count.  But those two facts do not take away from all that I am.  And I would expect the rest of you to view yourself in a similar way.
Maybe I am terribly conceited.  I am full of sin.  I should be humble and contrite.  I should lift others up while I keep myself respectably down.  But I won't.  Oh, I will lift you up because you are equally amazing.  There is a very good chance that you are more amazing.  In fact, I will just say it.  You are more amazing than you can possibly know!  But I will not keep myself down.  I will tell you that I baked that wonderful cake you are enjoying because it is a gift given to me from my mom.  I will tell you that is my section at work that looks GOLD (grand opening look daily) and to not muck it up.  I will thank you when you have appreciated my story because it is a gift that God has given me that I am required to share. 
I know that I cannot do whatever I like.  I cannot play professional basketball or be a rockette or a great number of other things.  So I do what I can do with more gusto, with more care, with the effort that will show its and my worth.  I spent too many years not doing any of what I wanted because I didn't think I was good enough.  That, my friends, is the sin.
Just this weekend, I woman I find to be stunningly smart and beautiful told me that I should get paid for my blogs.  I don't need the money after a compliment like that.  That would be really cool, to get paid to write, but it is so much cooler to know that what I have to say is being heard and being filed away in a heart for later use.
Sometimes, often times, I think it is important to stop and count the gifts that God has given me.  I have had that opportunity a lot lately because these women I mentioned earlier have told me.  I will admit that I don't see myself as the beacon of faith that they see, but I am.  I have faith.  That is a gift.  I believe in a power greater than myself.  And I believe that this power that is greater than everything loves me.  He really does.  He made me and forgave me and He gives me a million and ten chances to fail.  And He never thinks I am worthless.  He never points to my scars and says that I should have tried harder.  He points to my scars and He reminds me that I had to put them there to get here.  To get to this spot where I can see what I am worth.  To Him and to myself and to all those around me. 
My worth is more than the stars in the sky.  I hope I remember that always.  That I keep instilling that in my family, my friends, in everyone I pass along the way.  That we are all worth it.  We are all valuable.  We are all rockstars!