Has Never Been Work

There have been some conversations lately with various people about marriage, the good of it and the bad of it and the work of it.  These people have been long time married, not so long time married and divorced.  I have learned that there is really no place for me in a lot of these conversations because I just don't get where a lot of people are coming from.
Danny and I were talking about it and we just don't see marriage as work.  Work generally sucks.  Our marriage generally doesn't suck. 
I have the opportunity to chat it up with a lot of folks that have been around for a while.  I work with a guy that has been married nearly 58 years.  When Danny and I celebrated our twenty second anniversary, he commented that Danny and I were still in the newly wed years.  I have seen his wife and him, they are in the newlywed stage, too.  I listen to what this guy has to say because he obviously knows how to make it work.  From the sounds of it, he and his wife have just been good partners.  It seems pretty easy.
But I know it must not be or the divorce rate wouldn't be what it is.  Or maybe it is just too easy to get divorced, or easier not to try.  I am not going to try to guess the reasons.
What we have here is working and we don't plan to mess with it.  We came into this union as kids and were quickly asked to do some pretty adult things.   But we never stayed all grown up and serious and stuff (as this sentence demonstrates).  We made a ton of poor decisions.  We have been pennies from broke.  Ok, we have been broke.  We have struggled with the bills and rent and car problems.  Everyone does.
We have never struggled with where we wanted to be as a couple or a family.  I have always known that Danny's job would be the important job.  We would move because of his job.  We would have separation because of his job.  We would have a roof over our heads because of his job.  But I always felt like we made the decisions together.  Even when Danny was pursuing different military schools, he always would ask me about how I would feel if he went to Ranger School (yes!), Airborne School (sure!), SERE School (I don't think so.).  But had been really important to Danny to go, I would have relented because at that time, I knew that I could never be the reason why his career stalled.  And it never did and I was never the reason.  One thing that I truly have pride in was my capabilities as a military wife.
I read the top ten reasons for divorce. 
10.  Difference in priorities and expectations- well, I have lost count of the number of nights that we laid there in bed and played the "where do you see us in 5, 10, 50 years" game.  Oddly, we always told similar stories but I mentioned that I was skinny in my vision.
9.  Addiction- deal breaker.  Danny already said.  If I try meth there is no taking me back.  I say 'fair enough'.  Seriously, he warned me fair and square.  If I go out and do meth (as you can tell by my sophisticated drug speak, that probably won't happen) I should just plan on not coming home. 
8.  Child rearing issues - if this refers to how often the child or yourself moons the other, no issue there.  Danny and I actually had to come together on this one as we raised our children.  There were and are times that we get frustrated with each other.  I tend to lecture and Danny tends to slip into Cop mode, but at the end of the day, Danny moons Jacob from the deck and I ignore both of them.
7.  Religious and cultural strains - nope.  We have plenty of faith but no culture.
6.  Boredom-  Boredom?  Marry Danny White and you won't be bored.  EVER!
5.  Sexual incompatibility- well, I really won't get into that. 
4.  Money problems - we are both spenders. Though Danny is actually ready to graduate to the saver.  I am trying.  But we don't hide our bills or receipts or any of that.  Danny does have a separate account where he saves without me knowing it.  I like that.  I don't have a separate account.  I have trouble keeping one balanced.
3.  Abuse- never happened, never will.  Though I have been put into a cold shower.  Ask about that story.  It starts with "Anne was drinking apfelkorn out of a sherry glass..."
2.  breakdown of communication- I don't listen well and Danny has a hearing issue.  But we still manage to communicate. 
1.  cheating- again, this is not something I am going to talk about.  I know that some people can move on from this one, and others can't.  I don't know what I would do.  I would probably crack open another bottle of apfelkorn to start with...
I guess I am just really lucky that the guy in the next room trying to figure out how to put a picture of my dead dog back on my phone so I can see Barron every day still, is my husband and will always be.  I don't work to keep him happy.  He doesn't work to keep me happy.  We play and laugh and struggle to keep each other happy.  
I think there have been tests.  I think there have been trials.  I think there have been moments for both of us when we had to catch our breath before moving on, but I know for both of us, we were moving on together. 
Marriage, this marriage and all that it has been through is joyous and victorious.  It is crazy.  It is nerve racking.  It is a pain in the ass.  But it has never been work.