Dirt is imbedded in my feet. I don't know how long I will have to soak them before they are truly clean. I have one blister on the back of one foot which is remarkable because both socks kept working themselves down and would bunch up under my toes. My left leg has two pink bruises on the lower leg, many scratches on the knee, a speckled egg bruise on the knee and three bigger, bluer bruises on my thigh. The right leg does not look much better. There is a three part bruise on the left side of my lower ribs. My arms have just a few bruises and no cuts or scratches. I am sunburned across the back of my neck. I am also sunburned on my forehead. Every muscle that I can feel is screaming at me when I make a move. Once I get moving, I feel okay, but it takes a long time to get moving.
How did I get like this?
I signed up for Tough Mudder in October of 2012. I had over nine months to train. I bought one exercise series, one pilates machine, one trial gym membership and one gym renewal. I did not train for more than two weeks consecutively or more than eight weeks total. I did lose six pounds that I have kept off.
Yesterday, July 20, 2013, my over nine months had come and gone and it was go time. I seriously contemplated every conceivable scenario that would get me out of where I was at 11:15 on Saturday. But as luck would have it, there I was under a giant inflatable start line getting ready to participate in the physical challenge of my life. I was very surprised that I did not feel like I was going to throw up but was just eager to get started!
Tough Mudder is a, depending upon the location, 10-15 mile obstacle mud challenge. This particular challenge was at Somerset Amphitheater in Wisconsin. The terrain was natural and was all hills until the end. The natural terrain was dusty and sometimes rocky. There were low tree stumps and stalks that had to be manuevered around. This was no walk in the park, so to speak. The obstacles had names like Artic Enema and Berlin Walls. At the end is another giant inflatable, this one saying finish, a table of t-shirts, headbands and beer.
I got to this spot because, well it seemed like a good idea at the time. Danny had ran two Tough Mudders. Jacob wanted to run when he turned eighteen, which was this year. Hayley thought that if Danny and Jacob were doing it, it would be fun to do it, too. That lead to Hayley wanting it to be a family thing, so Ashlyn signed up. Ashlyn almost didn't make it having arrived from South Africa a day and a half prior. Not wanting to be left on the sidelines, I said "what the hell." And because Brett is already considered family, he got his registration for Christmas from Danny and me.
So back to yesterday and all that happened that has left me a bruised and beat up girl. Before the challenge even began, the participants had to climb over wall. 9Us gals have very little upper body strength so all 'pull yourself up' activities quickly became 'Danny and Brett hoist us up' activities0. Climbing over the wall gave me the inner thigh bruises, there would be a few more walls that would add to the bruises, but I kinda liked that blood was spilt (internally) right from the get go!
We started out jogging as a group, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to last. There is a mental wall that has been built that separates me from running and jogging. I am happy to walk for miles and miles, but ask me to run and my lungs set themselves on fire. We walked most of the eleven mile course. Sorry about that.
The obstacles were pretty creative and for the most part, pretty fun. There were seventeen obstacles and I was successful in all that I attempted except one. I opted out of three, one of which I now sort of regret.
Kiss of mud was an easy, peasy low crawl through the mud with barbed wire gridded high above one's head. We all came out of that happy and muddy!
That feeling quickly changed as we approached the Artic Enema. Folks, I have been cold before but never, ever like this. A MWA roll off dumpster was filled with ice water. And by ice water, I mean that ice cubes were floating happily in this at 11:30 on a summer's day. The water probably went up to my chest, I honestly don't remember. I was the first to slide in and quickly made it to the board that was hanging just below the water's surface. I had to go completely under but just for a moment. That was all okay. It was the nearly impossible task of taking a breath after I brought my head out of the water that set me into a minor panic. I kept my hand on the side of the dumpster and got to the end. I am pretty sure that Danny boosted me out and I am pretty sure I was going to go head first out of that. I think a fellow Mudder righted me and I hit the ground. We were fortunate to have a sunny day and we warmed up as we moved on. That was one obstacle that I would have liked to have seen a volunteer to two at the end to rescue people like me.
The easy ones had us climbing hay bales and over and under logs. We shimmied down some culverts and shimmied back up the other side. We low crawled through some water, we ran through some water, we low crawled through some more water. We laid on our backs in water and pulled ourselves along a chain link fence suspended overhead. We climbed over piles of mud and slid into pools of muddy water only to climb over piles of mud to slide back into pools of muddy water. Jacob had a blast in this one, called Mud Mile #2. He practically swam in the pools. He was amazed at how buoyant he was in the muddy water. Jacob, except for the center of his face, was covered in mud after that obstacle. I chickened out of Trench Warfare which was four trenches dug out of the ground and shallowly filled with water. Above the trenches were grids of barded wire and hanging from the wire were wires with electric current running through some. Danny gave me that look, but I knew I didn't want to do this. The last obstacle is also a shocker, with the wires hanging down and the Mudder running through them. I opted out of that one as well, though I regret that. The other one I opted out of was a series of six wide trenches that one simply had to jump over. This one screamed injury and I was not going to risk a compound fracture or even a twisted ankle at this point in the challenge. I don't have any regrets about skipping that one.
The Berlin Walls were two walls, 12 feet high that had to be climbed over. I was the first to go. One of the Mudder volunteers showed us an easy way. He took a knee against the wall and I put one foot on his leg and the other on his shoulder. He stood up and I went up the wall. I was able to grab the top and with a lot of pushing from below, was able to get my legs over. The problem was I didn't know what to do once I got to the top. I hung on for a moment, knowing that I had to let myself go easily and land in a way that I could absorb the impact without getting hurt. Unfortunately, upper body strength gave out, fingers lost their grip and I took the most ungraceful fall of the day. Hayley was on the other side of the wall and she watched my fingers slide past the boards. Ashlyn watched me hit and figured I had injured my back especially when she watched me gingerly walk off the course towards the emergency gator. I did not hurt my back but landed on my knee ala THOR and thought I had wrecked it. But I bounced back, did not do the second wall and walked it off.
I also successfully walked off a lower calf cramp that really wanted to form, but no, no, no. Not in my leg!
The obstacle that I am most proud that I overcame was the big Wheaties advertisement. I can't find the name of the obstacle so I am going to possibly make up the details as well as the name. On the back side, we climbed up some two by fours to the top of a platform. The top of the platform must have been 15 feet above a 12 foot pool of muddy water. These are guesses based on how high Ellis high board was when Ashlyn and Hayley were 9 and 7. Anyway, the Mudder in front of me had a change of heart and decided not to jump. I think she stood too long at the edge and got overwhelmed. I totally get that. I did not stand at the edge but just went for the jump. It was a long way down and seemed like I was under water for ever. I have a tendency to release my air too soon and got a little panicky as I was coming up. I didn't open my eyes since the water was a murky brown anyway. But had my hands pointed north and push kicked like a son of a bitch. I knew Danny was already out of the water because he had to jump before me. I put a lot of undue pressure on him as I always expect him to be there to save my life if needed. When I came up, I locked my focus on the rescue diver that was in the waters edge and I swam to shore. I didn't panic and I got out of that water ecstatic. Watching other Mudders jump in gave me a real sense of accomplishment. That was exactly the kind of obstacle I would have wimped out of because I wouldn't have believed I was strong enough. (Wimping out the of the shock ones was purely because I was a puss).
It took our completely untrained group of six four and a half hours to travel eleven miles and seventeenish obstacles. I had to stop a couple of times to catch my breath, to convince myself to push myself up the hill, to fix my sock. Hayley also had sock issues. The rest of the group kept moving. Jacob and Brett would have liked to have ran more and for that, I am sorry, but they knew going in that I was going in as well! Danny was able to avoid the shoulder fatigue at the cargo net obstacle because three of our team were taller than him and held the net above his head. He was able to complete the monkey bars but his face showed extreme duress. Brett and Jacob also completed the monkey bars. Hayley got a few bars out there and dropped right in front of Ashlyn who didn't make it quite as far. I just jumped in the water and swam across!
Crossing the finish line gives one a head band, t-shirt and if 21, a cold beer. Crossing the finish line gave me a pretty huge sense of accomplishment. I asked myself to do a few things that I didn't want to do. I was not as strong as most, or as fast as most, or as fit as most. But I have a head band that most don't have. I am a Tough Mudder.
3.Glory Blades inverted walls climbed braces
4.King of the Mountain hay bale
5.Trench Warfare electric shock
6.Boa Constrictor tube down water in middle crawled back up
7.Cliffhanger
8.Mud Mile #1
9.Hold Your Wood
10.Log Jammin’
11.Mud Mile #2
12.Warrior Carry
13.Cage Crawl
14.Walk the Plank
15.Berlin Walls
16.Everest
17.Funky Monkey
18.Electroshock Therapy
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