Avalanche of Love

"Is it cold in here?"  Jacob asks.
 Again, a little louder "Mom, is it cold in here?"
 One more time, closer to me and much, much louder "MOM!  Is it cold in here?"
It doesn't matter what my response is, because the love is in motion and I am about to be buried under an avalanche of love.
Are you not familiar with this weather phenomenon?  Oh, we get at least four avalanches a week, with two on Saturdays.  There is no way to prevent them.  No way to prepare for them.  You cannot stock up on non perishables and have extra batteries on hand.  There is no weather forecast that can predict them.  You just curl up in a ball and hope for the best.
Once you have been buried under the avalanche of love, you must rapidly dig yourself out before frost bite sets in.  And by frost bite, I mean that Jacob bites.  It is usually the tips of the ears that get frost bit first but all of you is vulnerable. 
Yes, an avalanche of love is just one of the many odd and somewhat frightening things that happen at my house.  The avalanche is the only weather related happening.  Most of the other happenings are animal based in nature.  Currently there is the Planet of the Apes attack.  That ends with my finger being bit.  We have also had ostrich and emu attacks.  I think if given enough time, we could come up with a mode of attack for every animal.  In fact, I think we would rise to that challenge.
Danny may come at you with Crazy Legs.  You may also receive a sternum rub if you are not reponding (not reponding will also result in having your eye ball flicked).  There are also a series of attacks that Hayley and Jacob devised that can only be blocked by placing your hand on your face or neck in the appropriate place.  If the block does not match the attack, then you are attacked more.  It is all very confusing and precise.
I think one of the most interesting forms of entertainment that we came up with (and I think this was Danny's idea) was turning the lights off on an innocent person (often me) and punching them (me) and kicking them (me) hooligan style.  Then someone would flip the lights on and everyone would be "cool".  Various members of this family would be attacked usually in the hallway.  It was fun and painful!
Mix in a few Nerf gun assults and Danny get pegged in the neck with an airsoft pellet and its an average day here.  I don't know how all of these things started, but I do know that Ashlyn was going to :punch you in the nose" at eighteen months.  Hayley would offer you a poisoned apple..."have a bite.  Heh heh heh!"  It only seems natural that I would now be buried under an avalanche of love.