Seventeen years ago, Danny and I had two quite spectacular little girls but we weren't sure if our family was complete. We had just set up house in Germany and had acquired a puppy. Life was humming along nicely so we decided to keep things as they were and stop at two. A few weeks later, we find out that that wasn't going to be the case. I was pregnant. And that suited us just fine!
So fast forward to July, the eighth to be exact. We got a Jacob. We had always wanted a Jacob. Jacob was a different kind of kid. He was relaxed. He was content to eat, watch the game, hang with the dog. Jacob, except for a week in Belgium, was pretty happy-go-lucky. And we were pretty happy and lucky to have him.
But sometimes I don't think Jacob believes that. Sometimes I think Jacob really does believe that we love him less. Sometimes I think Jacob thinks that because he was neither with cancer or saving someone from cancer that he isn't as important or special. So, I am going to tell him right now that he is mistaken. Oh, it is true that the attention was not focused on Jacob back in the hospital days. But that is the beauty of Jacob. He knew that there were some crazy things going on and he stood back and let us take care of those things. A lesser son would have acted out in an attempt to draw attention to himself. I don't ever remember Jacob standing there with arms spread wide screaming "what about me?!?" Though I am sure there were days that he felt like that.
Every mother will tell you that they love all their children the same. My mom always said that, but I never believed her and now that I am a mother, I don't believe it when I say it. How am I supposed to love all my children the same. They aren't the same. I love them all with all that I am. But it isn't the same. Well, I love different things about them so...
Let me clarify because I am sure someone will read this the wrong way. If my love for my children were candy, it would be M&Ms because even though there are different colors, they all taste the same.
Anyway, back to Jacob. Quick witted and oh, so inappropriate, I find myself laughing as I shake my head. The words that come out of his mouth are so funny. And so often, way over his audience's head. Not everyone gets him and I think he likes it that way. Jacob has me laughing practically everyday. If it isn't something he said...
then it's something he did. Ask his sisters, they never know what to expect from him, but they know it will be odd and entertaining. Jacob is a great shot. I really think he ought to go to the shooting range and try his luck there. If it is anything like it is here when he shoots his dad with the airsoft pistol...the target would have a big red welt on the back of his neck!
With Jacob, I never know what type of attack is coming next. I am always on guard. I enjoy that. Keeps me spry! Emmitt would disagree. He is always on guard, too, he just doesn't enjoy that. Harlow doesn't know what is going on, she is just grateful that Jacob includes her.
Sometimes, Jacob has a pitbull point of view. He will decide how he feels about something and there is no discussion. He will listen to your points, maybe nod, and then tell you that you are mistaken and explain why. I think he gets that from his dad!
Danny had to go to training a few months after Jacob was born. I remember him telling this little guy of ours to "take care of your mom". Danny repeated those words so many times over the years, and Jacob has never failed at that task. When Danny deployed to Iraq several years ago, Jacob stepped up again. Quite literally, too. When I needed a hug, Jacob would stand on the second stair step so I could put my head on his shoulder.
I know this really doesn't do Jacob justice, but I didn't want to divulge any of his secrets, either. To know him is lucky for you. You will laugh plenty and you will have a good friend. He asks little of those who are with him- a love of 80s music, Muppet theater, Tombstone pizza and Cowboys football. I wouldn't cross him on any of those (of course that's what he was raised on).
Jacob is sixteen. Today he put a note in my pocket that said "Jacob loves you". I kept it there all day because I know how happy and lucky I am to have him.
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