I hadn't intended on being on my own. And I actually wasn't alone, there was an Ashlyn in my belly. But I was young. And I was on my own. And Southern California isn't as fabulous as it sounds. I had arrived in June, four months after Danny arrived. Crissy and I drove out in a very tiny Toyota Tercel. It was packed with all that it could handle. It and I were headed for one great big adventure! Danny already found us an apartment on Waring Road in Oceanside, California. There wasn't much for base housing at that time and what was available went to Marines with families.
So the month of June found Danny and I playing house. We bought some furniture and hung some pictures. We took a few trips to the beach. I found a job at the mall. Wedded bliss!
And then July came. Danny spent the month in Panama training and I thought I was never going to make it as a military bride. There was a tremendous amount of wailing and teeth gnashing. It was really quite embarrassing. Looking back, I don't know what all my fuss was about. It was training. Not war. It was for a month. Not indefinitely. Seriously!
And then August came. I will just say that I was glad for July and all my boo hooing because in August, the shit just got real!
One day, not even a full 24 hours. That's how long I got Danny before the Marine Corps took him again. And this time, they took him to Saudi Arabia and there was no time table. I think Danny had time to call his mom and dad. I think I called my parents. I knew where the grocery store, drug store, Home Depot and mall were at. I knew how to get to Camp Pendleton, but had never gone there by myself. I knew four other people besides Danny, and one of them was the landlady. The first time I drove on Camp Pendleton was the night I drove home from dropping Danny off. That was also the first time I drove on the Five. So, there I was, young and on my own in Southern California. And I was one day pregnant!
Over the course of the next few days, I made the plan to move back to Cedar Rapids. It made perfect sense to me to go home. When I told my dad of my plans, he told me I was already home. Didn't see that coming. And didn't care for it at all. But my dad was right. I belonged in Oceanside. I needed to learn how to pay the bills, get to the doctor, make my way in a world that was quite different. And I did. I worked until it became too much for my belly. I found my way around Camp Pendleton. I learned acronyms and acronyms for acronyms. I had two little kitties. I watched movies and wrote letters. I grew an Ashlyn.
As the days turned into weeks into months, maybe my dad regretted not letting me come back to Cedar Rapids, but I did not regret it. It was such an important lesson to learn. I wasn't the same girl that moved out there. I had become a Marine wife. I could adapt and overcome.
My first year as a married woman was something I never would have expected. Danny and I spent 36 days of those first 365 together. We did not spend our birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas or our anniversary together. We wrote a hundred letters, we talked on the phone a few times and every night, every single night, we said good night on the moon. It was the only thing in the world that we could both see. I had a couple of USO tapes of Danny and a very brief clip of him on CNN. He had a few pictures of me, but I didn't have a camera, so he had never seen my growing belly.
Danny came home early March. I had 12 hours notice. Ashlyn was born six weeks later. Three months after that, Danny was deployed again. This time, my dad made me move back to Cedar Rapids. I had a little girl this time, and nothing to prove to anyone. I stopped counting the days that Danny and I spent apart.
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