So back in high school there was a portrait of Jesus in the chapel. A close up of his face. His completion clear of stubble, his rich brown hair feathered back from his face. His eyes a piercing blue. If it weren't Jesus, heck, if it were Jesus, this guy was cute.
Fast forward twenty five years later and a church group that I have joined. I am not sure how it came up, I think one of the women either presented a prayer card with this image on it or had bought a larger framed print for their home. Either way, I failed to have my filter on my brain or mouth and commented on the Hot Jesus. No disrespect meant, and I hope no disrespect taken, because the man in this print is good looking. And if we were all created in God's image and Jesus is God's Son well, you see where I am going with this. Anyway, Hot Jesus.
Later the entire group was given prayer cards of Hot Jesus.
Now in contrast to this Hot Jesus image was the teacher (killjoy) that described the times of Jesus as really rather un-hot. She left us with an image of a filthy man who probably had lice. He washed infrequently and walked every where in desert heat. Now remember that it is a dry heat so, forget it, Jesus probably stank. Dental hygiene, unheard of. And well, you all get the picture. Which is exactly why I want the picture of Hot Jesus.
I don't want to think of anyone from the past like they actually would have been. Marie Antoinette with chicken fat on her face to moisturize her skin. Henry the eighth with his gaping open wound on this thigh, turkey leg juice dripping from his chin. No thanks, give me the beautiful queen, the handsome, physically fit king. Make my mental image of history like a 1930s Cecil B Demille film not some historically Oscar winner that makes me feel too queasy to enjoy my popcorn.
Now on to my other theory. And this one is about Saul/Paul. I think Paul was the first Teen Beat type heart throb. Call me crazy (you won't be the first) but look at the facts. And by facts I mean the stuff we know and guess about Paul and the life he lead. By facts, I also mean by what seems more exciting than the truth!
Fact- Paul was Saul, a roman soldier. Roman soldiers are buff. They are out there loping off heads with swords, wearing armor, riding horses. Saul had the thighs and biceps of a bodybuilder. Sword wielding would require great core strength. Saul not only had a six pack, but I would venture to guess an eight pack. So he was buff.
Then there was the blinding and getting his ass thrown from the horse. Practically smited, he had the good sense to change his ways and his name. So now, not only was he ripped, he was sensitive and he was Paul. Who doesn't like a guy named Paul. (Sorry John, George and Ringo).
Paul travels around sharing the Good News of Jesus. He comes into town, the girls are lining the streets weeping, screaming, swooning. You know they were. And then what does he do when he leaves? He writes them. Now he is buff, sensitive, thoughtful Paul. No wonder he became so popular.
Now before you gasp at the very idea that I would write and talk about Jesus and Paul in this manner, remember I mean no disrespect. I have all the respect in the world for these two. They were out there saving souls, mine included. We all know what Jesus gave up, and Paul followed a very similar path. Talking about these religious and historical people in such a common way makes them more real to me. I like to think of Jesus laughing at Peter's antics. Or Paul stopping at the papyrus store to pick up some new stationary. After all, if we were all made in God's image then He must have a sense of humor as well.
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