Last night, of all nights, I rode along with Danny. I was expecting a lot of drunks and a lot of fights. I was expecting it to be very busy. I was expecting to walk away from the night with a greater appreciation of Danny and the department as a whole.
Listening to the radio, it appeared that most of the drunks and fights were Central. Danny is South. The car chase, the stabbing, the major injury were Central and West. Our calls were more mundane. It actually wasn't very busy for Southside at all. I am glad I rode along. It is fun to meet the people that may have Danny's back someday. It is interesting to see Des Moines in a way I will never see it. It gives me a much greater appreciation for what my husband does and why he is the why he is about some issues.
Danny is a good officer. Really good. I watched the other officers watch how he handled a situation. It felt like they were soaking in his vast knowledge, storing it away for the next time. He has far more patience than I would have expected. He makes it completely clear that he is in charge. Like a dog, his body language is key to what he is going to do next. That part was fascinating.
During one call, Danny needed to speak to a little guy, aged seven. He was obviously pretty shaken up that the police were at his house. His mom wasn't doing so great and that's why the police were there. At that time, Danny had a tough job. He needed to make sure that the mom was going to be okay, but more importantly, that this boy was and was going to continue to be okay. When Danny started to talk to this little guy, he turned down his radio. I thought that was so interesting and was probably completely unrealized by Danny. But to me, it said to the boy "what you have to say is important and I want to listen to you." Turning down the radio also makes Danny a little less of a presence. Now he is just a bigger man in a dark suit but there isn't any crackly noise coming from him. Then Danny's shoulders drop just a little. And his chest deflates ever so slightly, but it is enough to make himself seem less intimidating. Finally, the voice is his real voice. The voice that talks to me, his own kids, the dog. It is calm and interested. I was so proud of him in that moment for treating this boy like a person that mattered. That's not to say that this mom didn't treat her boy like that, I think she did. I think she did the very best she could do. But there are so many moms that don't treat their kids like they matter. It is so important that these kids view the police as someone that is on their side.
In this house, Danny had to assess the situation immediately. He had to scan the place and store that in his brain. He scanned the table and removed the sharp objects. He had to have a conversation with someone that did not like that he was there, did not fully understand why he was there and just wanted him to leave. But there was a little boy in the bedroom and Danny had to do what was best for him at that moment. I didn't envy him at all to have to make that call. In the end, the little guy stayed with his grandparents. And I found myself praying for the whole situation as we drove away.
There was a domestic call later. The one thing I know about domestics is they can go any which way. Since there may or may not have been a knife involved, I decided to stay in the car. When we got to the place, the guy was already outside and was wisely cooperating. But not knowing if there was a knife, Danny took no chances and had the taser on him. The red light of a taser is a magic wonder. This guy was down on the ground as fast as his drunken little legs could carry him. He was cuffed without incident. But what if there had been incident? I would have seen it all from where I was and that thought got planted and continued to grow as the night wore on.
Later, there was a man that did not want to get into the back of the squad car. I completely understand why he did not want to get in the back of the squad car. I would not want to get in the back of a squad car either if there had just been a stabbing, I fit the description, I had blood all over me, I was caught after I tried to run. But the police felt otherwise. It is really interesting how they create this barrier of blue. He could clearly see that he had few options, but was still not going to get in the car. I cannot tell you how it happened as it happened in the blink of an eye but Danny, after much patient discussion about this man getting in the car, had reached that point where there are no more warnings or discussions and this man was in the car.
If I had to guess, my guess would be that Danny somehow grew an additional arm that was able to reach down and snap this guy behind the knees to make them buckle while pulling his head forward and pushing his midsection in. It was not violent at all. It wasn't manhandling or brut force. In fact, had there been leotards involved, it could have been quite graceful.
aahs from some of the other officers (and I thought Danny was pretty dreamy at that moment!) but Danny just appeared to be ready to move on the the next shit head of the night.
The kids have been on ride alongs and they think it is awesome to see this side of Danny. They have always known that there is a man inside their Daddy that is a highly trained bad assed mutha fucka. I know this, too. I am thrilled that he is fully capable to kick some piece of shit's ass. I am also thrilled that he knows multiple ways to handle a situation before he has to kick ass. But that does not mean I want to or need to see it.
What would I have done if any one of those situations last night would have gone wrong? Nothing. I would have stayed in the car and waited. Would Danny have done something different in a violent situation because I was there? I don't know, but I learned a long time ago that when Danny was going to be in harms way, I needed to be out of the way in his mind. I believe that Danny would be fully capable of taking care of the situation and me because I believe that he is a pretty extraordinary police officer. I understand that he has been in situations in other lines of work that have put him in far greater danger than he would probably ever be on the streets of Des Moines. I also understand that Danny takes every situation seriously and never blows off what appears to be mundane.
I cannot express how proud I am of Danny and the job he does every night. I understand how he has become jaded, it wouldn't take long. A person can only hear all the crap that people spew at the law for so long before it is just easier to expect a shit head and be surprised when it is not. I do not envy the decisions he has to make regarding these people's lives.
I don't know if I will ride along again or not. I know that Danny really likes to show me all the stuff he does. I love meeting all the people he works with. I love that pit in the stomach feeling when he starts to accelerate. Oddly, I feel very safe in the squad car even at higher rates of speed. I hate seeing the horrible ways that people choose to live. I hate that there are so many people that have no idea how hard these officers work to keep the peace. I hate the idea that there are people out there that wouldn't think twice about taking a shot at a cop which means they wouldn't even think before they took a shot at the rest of us. But I love this man that keeps the peace. So...
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