I am the youngest of five children. The oldest, a boy was born in 1960. He was followed by a girl, another boy and another girl in 1962, 1963 and 1965. In 1969, I was born. My birth really screwed things up for my family. The three bedroom house was no longer evenly divisible. The Ding Dong box was now divied up unfairly. The kitchen table got really crowded.
Sometimes being much younger than my siblings made me feel like the odd duck. I couldn't play with them because they were so much older. My nearest sister did play Barbies with me, but not for a really long time because she was nearly five years older. So just as I was really getting into Barbie, she was on her way out. My oldest sister might pop in to do Barbie's hair, but she never stopped in to play.
I used to hang out in my brothers' room when I was little. Their room was in the basement and before it was officially a room, just an area they goofed off in, I would roller skate on one side of the basement while they built models on the other. The old transistor radio would be on and I clearly remember doing an interpretive skate to Barry Manilow's I Write the Songs. They didn't seem to mind me too much, and later, in my early teens, hanging out with my brother was often a life saver. But again, the age difference was a big difference.
Being the youngest brought me a lot of extras. After everyone else moved out, Dad and Mom could pay attention to what I was doing and what I was usually doing was wrong. When the older ones would come home late, maybe slightly intoxicated, Dad would be asleep on the floor and I would be watching Creature Feature. They would come (stumble) in and go get something to eat in the kitchen. Then they would go upstairs. When they reached the top of the stairs is when they would tell me to wake up Dad. I had no idea what the real situation was. When I was older, Dad would be waiting up for me or worse, out looking for me. I got in trouble a lot, but it was because I got caught a lot. It is a lot easier for a dad to watch one kid than five!
But, I got the station wagon when Mom and Dad bought a new car. I also got a lot of other perks that the others missed out on. When it was just me at home, eating out became a more frequent option. I got to paint my room any color I wanted. I didn't have to share the TV with anyone unless a game was on.
I often asked my parents if I was planned. I know I wasn't. Who is crazy enough to want one more after almost five years and a pretty good balancing act. Dad tells me that none of us were planned and Mom would tell me that we were all a gift from God. I think they were just taking the kids as they came, but probably thought that they were done after the four.
The ruined Ding Dong division still comes up in conversation, but I never remember Mom buying Ding Dongs. Though the kitchen table was crowded. We had a perfectly fine dining room table that we never used, we just squeezed in around the too small kitchen table. And in all fairness, my oldest brother moved out when I was eight so I didn't screw things up for that long.
I think back and know that there were times when I really struggled with the idea that I was not wanted. That I was an accident instead of a surprise. I don't think my parents were ever unhappy about having me. I do think some of my siblings sometimes were! It's funny how those feeling can stay and how easily it is to fall back into those old roles.
My own children were sort of planned. Ashlyn was not not planned. We were going to take that first one whenever it happened. Hayley was the most planned. Jacob was planned, then shelved then SURPRISE! None of them ruined the Ding Dong box, in fact, I try to buy things that come in tens so we each get two!
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