This Part is Always so Surreal

Here it is, a Tuesday night.  And I am blogging away.  And I have no idea what my husband is doing.  An hour or so ago, his pager went off and in a dash of black, he was out the door and gone.  I know that he told Jacob a little of what was going on, but I didn't even ask.  I knew he just needed to get going. 
SWAT.  Or METRO STAR or whatever you would like to call it is a pain in my ass.  I just cannot get used to it.  Danny was in the military for 16 years.  I am pretty sure that he did some interesting (i.e. dangerous) shit while in the military but I didn't know.  I was sleeping while he was creeping about.  I had time differences and many, many miles to separate myself from the situation.  I don't have that luxury here.  I could turn the TV on and see the local news station with their camera zoned in on Danny.  It has happened before. 
I don't know that I really worry about Danny's safety.  I think after Iraq, I have stopped worrying.  It almost drove me mad so I let that one be.  Danny has had excellent training.  And if you have read my previous post, no one really ever messes with the dog on a chain. 
Danny joined SWAT in the fall of 2006.  He was out of the military at this point.  The huge pile of green that always smelled of gun oil and something indescribable was gone.  And in its place was a not quite as huge pile of black with that same indescribable smell.  I couldn't be excited for him.  SWAT is real time and that is just very different for me.  And some days it is immediate.  With the military, I didn't know until it was over.  And if I did know that Danny was going to be busy.  That is what he would say and I would just kind of fill in the rest on my own.  He really may have been just goofing off in a Northern Iraq town as the photos depicted. 
But I would never ask him to stop doing what he loves to do.   I knew he would have opportunities in the military to go to schools and various training missions.  He would choose to leave us but it was for the betterment of his soldiering. And in turn, made him happier.  I have always supported that.  And SWAT makes him a better police officer.   So, based on my last sentence, I should support SWAT.  (Trapped by my own words!) 
So St Micheal and I wait for the text message.  It will be brief, but that's all I need.