Let It Go Let It Go

If you know me well then you will not be surprised by my answer to question number five.
Can I let the past go?  HELL NO!  I carry the past around in a multi directional wheeled suitcase.  Sometimes I think I have no room for future plans because I am so full of past regrets.  Ok, that was a little dramatic but I thought it read well.  Anyway, I have a hard time letting go.  I'm like Elsa in the first part of Frozen. 
When I think about negative experiences that I am trying to avoid in the future, the only one that comes to mind is when my dog bit a child in my care.  From that, I became uber vigilant about kids around my dogs.  I was always nervous when children came to our house even after we had adopted new dogs.  That fear and shame lingered.  It still does.
Letting go of past hurts and embarrassments are hard.  The hurts tend to harden our hearts and create a kind of protective shield.  The embarrassments serve as reminders to keep our heads out of our asses.  I think it is important to keep a little of the hurt or embarrassment around to keep me safe.  But it also so important to let go of the hurt caused by others if the hurt keeps hurting me.  I had once kept a hurt with the intention that I would let it go when I was apologized to.  I hadn't considered that the apology would never come.  So the original hurt became not a shield, but a burden.  I had to let it go.  I had to forgive.  I didn't forget though and I learned the warning signs so I would avoid that hurt again.  Forgiving, in that instance, was more about me than the other person.
I have discovered that getting rid of the past has also meant getting rid of some of the people that the past is attached to.  I have learned if I take a lot of that crap out of my suitcase, I have more room for souvenirs.  I can make it to the next adventure without being weighed down.  I laugh more, I live better.
If I am being really honest here, and I am.  I think I hold on to the past as a crutch.  If I fail then I can say to myself that they said I would fail.  But I don't think I will fail so why I bother remembering that they think I would fail is beyond me.  I don't give a rat's ass what you think, I got my shit going on.  Right?
I don't think there is anything in my past that is stopping me from moving forward.  Just like everyone, I have had my feelings hurt.  I have had my heart broken.  I have had disappointment.  I have been made the fool.  There gets to the point when one has to get over it and I think I am there, have been there for a while.
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold sucks (I adlibbed that part).